Exercise 1.5: Revised Thesis

Objective: to better understand the function and structure of an effective thesis.

Estimated time: 30 minutes
Due by 9:00 a.m. Wednesday, February 26th

Review the thesis in your formal draft. Write a revised thesis that has the qualities of an effective thesis as is described in the Effective Theses Writing Guide. Post your revised thesis as a comment below. You might also read  “Motivating Your Argument” by Williams and Colomb to help you with crafting and revising your introduction.

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28 thoughts on “Exercise 1.5: Revised Thesis

  1. Hall is essentially inviting his audience into a conversation to emphasize that his conclusions about this “crisis of identity” are empty statements and that he announces to the audience to instead come to their own conclusions and create new conversations about other issues that are influenced by this identity crisis.

  2. Hall is essentially having a conversation with his audience and gives his own thoughts and opinions regarding the “crisis of identity”, ultimately wanting the audience to come up with their own thoughts and questions about the crisis, along with how this is influencing other aspects of identity.

  3. Using other authors or scholars is an important pattern, hall was use other scholars citation in this essay, why hall going to do that?how it work in which part in the essay this every fresh man audience first thinking at it, it let hall frame a template of different writing pattern of deffrerent writer to deeper explore thoses defferent writing style and dig more conversation style. According to the hall’s ” Raymond Williams notes that the modern history of the individual subject bring together two distinct meanings: on the one hand, the subject is “indivisible” – an entity which is unified within itself and cannot be further divided; on the other, it is also an entity which is “singular, distinctive, unique”(602). From hall’s asset other author writing pattern here, the Williams use his conversation way to talking about one individual from two version one of them its encompasses Integrity main body on the other hand it seem like a very special unity of individual, this writing pattern is totally different from hall‘s as relatively and certify same meaning as hall’s concept yet can use other writing style make unique and conduct audience into deeper conversation. “Descartes postulated two distinct substance-spatial substance(matter) and thinking substance(mind)”(603). hall state this version showing a streamlined academic style help fresh audience better thought about the subject on the section. Exploring different writing patterns can not only understand the different manifestations but also facilitate conversation help fresh audience enjoy thinking what is suppose hall want to saying about.

  4. All of the rhetorical patterns used by Hall lend to the critical idea that Identities were never stable to begin with, and any conception of such would merely be a “fantasy.”

  5. Hall is in conversation with other theorists and students to assess whether a “crisis of identity” truly exists and allowing the audience to form ideas and opinions for themselves and engage in conversation.

  6. Hall is utilizing rhetorical patterns in his essay so that he could reinforce his analysis on the “crisis of identity, persuade his audience to formulate their own opinions, and engage them in a conversation with him.

  7. Freshman may at first perceive Hall’s essay as being repetitive or that it goes on and on about the same thing, however by recognizing and analyzing the rhetorical patterns one can grasp the ideas in the rhetorical essay and join in the conversation about cultural identity.

  8. Hall is in conversation with other cultural theorists as well as the reader to discuss how identity was never stable to begin with. The reader needs to enter the conversation and keep on asking questions to form their own opinions.

  9. The idea of a single identity is opposed and squelched through the interpretation of Hall’s text and exhibits such an idea as a fantasy of an accelerating society. Whether a crisis of identity exists is questioned and enforced between Stuart Hall and correlating theorists.

  10. Stuart Hall explores in his essay whether a “crisis of identity” exists in our modern world. He brings both the supporters of this idea which claim that the identity of a person was never permanent and was always transforming (598), as opposed to those who believe that identity does not necessarily change as a result of different influences (623). Hall does that to give his readers enough information for them to keep asking questions and to form their own conclusion.

  11. Rather than finding a definitive answer on the definition of identity, let’s instead explore how Hall uses his conception of the three identities to explore and ratify his stance on the “Crisis of Identity” (596).

  12. Throughout the following paragraphs you shall have explained to you the patterns Stuart Hall uses to describe this ongoing “crisis of Identity” with his immense knowledge of the subject, and style of writing that invites us into this theoretical discussion making us all question ourselves.

  13. When reading Hall’s Essay, one might find trouble in understanding his essay. If one were to learn how to identify and locate rhetorical patterns, he/she would be able to better understand his essay or any other rhetorical essay.

  14. In hall’s essay he brings up the concept that there is a “crisis of identity” and that is what he goes on to further explain throughout the essay. Hall basically talks to audience and gives his thoughts, ideas, and concepts on the “crisis of identity”. In essence, Hall wants us to come up with our own theories and opinions for the concept of crisis of identity.

  15. Hall’s unique writing style, including his usage of the three aspects of identity along with his use of multiple theorist aid in his expression against the fantasy that identity is unified.

  16. Within Stuart Hall’s essay he is in a ongoing conversation with other philosophers, and cultural theorists to build on his topic of identity. Hall uses different writing styles to show how identity is not uniformed/stable. This not only makes it easier to understand but it allows the readers to form their own opinions and to continue to build on the analysis and keep the conversation flowing.

  17. In the process of exploration, where Hall emphasizes on having no stable identity to begin with, he is urges his audience, whom are students and other theorists, to get along in conversation with him. He wants them to question at every stage in order to form their own opinions. In the process, identification of the rhetorical patterns is the key to understand “how” Hall unfolds the arguments.

  18. Being aware of the structure & elements of a essay & doing prior research can make any academic essay accessible & even enjoyable. And approaching Stuart Hall’s ‘crises of identity’ with this more deliberate strategy thus allows them to not not only comprehend but enter the rhetorical conversation

  19. There is no definitive answer to be found in Stuarts Hall’s analysis of is there a “crisis of identity?” as seen through his use of unique rhetorical patterns and writerly style to form a conversation with theorist and students who would then be able to ask their own questions.

  20. Through a condescending tone and by using rhetorical patterns such as, conversational pattern, historical context, and complex vocabulary, Hall is able to show his opposing view on the concept of “crisis of identity” which he explains and debates, but remains constant in that it is non existent.

  21. In ‘the Question of Cultural Identity’, Hall discusses the crisis of identity and argues that- there is no crisis at all since the identity previously thought about as singular, never truly existed- using context and purpose as rhetorical patterns, which helps the student readers understand his piece, and leaves the discussion open to contestation.

  22. He mostly wants his readers to develop their own thoughts and come up with their own questions and answer. As a Freshman student, the reader must join the conversation to understand the patterns.

  23. Throughout the passage, Hall builds a conversation with theoretical scholars, and he reflects his insights upon their school of thoughts. He structures his essay with adding relevant theories of influential people of the past, along with analyzing their point of view in contrast with modern societies about the topic of whether an identity crisis exists or not.

  24. Hall is inviting the reader and any who have an opinion on the subject to join in the conversation. He believes that everyone through their own conjectures should have their own beliefs on this subject and should develop their owns questioning that may even contradict Stuart Hall’s.

  25. Mr. Hall is essentially trying to engage the readers with a conversation about the “Crisis of Cultural Identity” and he portrays in his texts that there is no stable identity. It’s a phenomenon that changes as society and the world how we know it changes. Even though he constantly reiterates that the reader should always form his or her opinions.

  26. Hall is conversing with his audience by discussing his perspective on the “crisis of identity”, which he wants the reader to formulate their own conclusions and questions on the crisis.

  27. Throughout the passage Hall broadens our knowledge of the cultural identity. In the passage Hall questions the idea of there being “crisis of identity” using many sources, he concludes that identity in a sense was never stable to begin with.

  28. Throughout the whole essay Hall says that we never had a stable identity to begin with and which is why we should be asking different questions.

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